The GC

HolycrapGoldenCompass.

I will sum up the high points of this, THE MOVIE OF THE GALAXY, in bulleted list format:

• Cute little animals, sweet digital effects
  
• Daniel Craig
• Nicole Kidman is absolutely perfect for the role of Mrs. Coulter (and gorgeous)
  
• An armored bear voiced by Gandalf
• An aeronaut from the "country" of Texas
• Eva Green is totally awesome (and gorgeous)
  

Many people have voiced their disappointment over the removal of all religious references from the novel for the film. While I can understand the sentiment (And I must admit I was very confused originally when I heard of such news because, in my mind, without the religious undertones you have zero plot - What was Asriel's quest? What was the point of the Oblation Board? Who is Mrs. Coulter, and who does she work for?), I found, to my pleasant surprise, that the removal of the references didn't do a whole lot to either ruin or better the movie for me. If you've read the books, you can kind of fill in the holes as all of the references are so blatantly obvious. Original sin, dust equaling sin (in the eyes of the Church/Magisterium), the innocence of children, etc. And if you haven't read the books, you're none the wiser, though even then, I would bet the most intelligent among you will figure it out before too long. They simply don't mention church, using its other name The Magisterium. And they don't mention God, using His other name The Authority. Both of these are canon and in the book, but they are used in conjunction with our more conventional terms in the book. Conclusion: whatever. No big deal.

The other noticeable difference came in the reordering of some of the events from the book. I don't want to ruin anything for anyone that hasn't read the book and hasn't seen the movie yet, so stop reading if that applies to you. But instead of Lyra -first- going to Bolvangar to free the children and -then- being captured by the armored bears (and subsequently being freed by Iorek as he reclaims his bear-king throne), they reverse the order of these things. They do this, I would guess, to provide for a more dramatic fight scene climax with the fight at Bolvangar, rather than the fight of the two bear kings. No big deal, but you'll notice it if you read the books.

The final difference was that they left out about four chapters at the end of the book. As John said when I told him that, "I could have done with another hour, hour and a half of that movie." He also mentioned that writers and directors seem to shy away from the Peter Jackson formula (a flood of over-information, resulting in a 3.5 hour movie). I think in this case, in order to match up the book's ending with the movie's ending, they could have tacked on another hour. Of course, if you have read the book, you know that book one necessarily doesn't end on a high note. Now that I think about it, this is definitely why they ended it where they did. They wanted a happy ending. Fair enough, movie maker. Fair enough. But look at The Fellowship of The Ring. They ended that with the death of Boromir. On second thought, shame on you, movie maker. Shame on you. Though I suppose this could definitely tell you what kind of movie these guys wanted to make. Do they want to make a happy children's movie, or do they want to make an epic trilogy?

Jukebox Hero

I'd like to dedicate this update to Lauren B. Dawson a.k.a. LD a.k.a L-bow a.k.a The Creek. Her blog has recently exploded with growth of every kind, and so, she has seen fit to pester me for a new update. I consider this an odd request, mainly because in order to view my blog, she must use up her precious GIGABYTES to view the site (something which she has complained about several times). So LBD, here's to you.

I would like to take a personal wellness moment and declare openly, for the very first time, that I have the number three (3) score in the world on the drums for Coheed and Cambria's "Welcome Home" on Rock Band. There are several people I would like to thank. First, my father for purchasing my first drum set when I was 13. Second, I would like to thank Claudio Sanchez for making good music, and thirdly, I would like to thank the drummer whose work I have admired for some time. I also have the number six (6) high score on "Reptilia" by the Strokes. As you can see, I am proud of these accomplishments. Do not mock me. As far as total score goes, I'm still number 260-something, but I haven't finished all of them on Hard or Expert yet. There is a song or two in the last group that is balls-hard on the drums on both difficulties, plus there are a few bonus tracks I haven't beaten yet. (I love the song "I'm So Sick" by Flyleaf, though I know that all of you will most likely hate it. I know John did when we played it at his place. Her voice is great.)

I am proud to say that I've also begun playing guitar on Expert. I am about halfway through on that difficulty after beating most of them on Hard. I have never really been able to play Hard, let along Expert. I chock this up to the fact that RB is supposed to be easier than GH (or so I hear). But I think I like this. I like actually being able to play the songs. And I am obsessed with "When You Were Young" by the Killers. Shelley, you know how each GH game has come with that one song that you must play every time you pick up the guitar? Like "More Than a Feeling" for GH. The Killers' song is that song for me with Rock Band.

I beat Assassin's Creed. I loved every minute of it, and now I have to wait two years for a god-damned sequel. It's like with television, only worse. Because with Lost or The Office, I only have to wait a summer or six months until the next season. With this game, I'll presumably have to wait at least two years before the next one comes out. Let's hope that since the engine is already complete and (largely) error-free, they'll be able to pound the next one out in a year or so.

I have an interview on Monday with Schlumberger with an evening presentation the preceding Sunday evening. This sounds like an interesting position, but it would seem like I might have to wear a hard hat and steel-toed boots while I walk around examining oil wells and drilling/exploration devices. Plus, there is a small chance I could end up in Malaysia or Nigeria for seven to twelve months. I think I am excited by these things, but I am not totally sure.

Some girl from EMC has been contacting me lately about a position in Bellevue, WA. It sounds pretty exciting. I think now she is forwarding my resumé onto her manager, who will review it and make the decision to fly me out to Washington for the interview. If I get the job, it's 8 months of paid training in Massachusetts before returning to Bellevue. I'll be basically going from business to business installing EMC's data management systems, which seems like fun. Interacting with people, software. No problem.

My dad has an unhealthy obsession with that Dr. Pepper commercial involving the large African-American football player who scores his first touchdown and proceeds to perform a very long, very scandalous touchdown dance. Without fail, when the young man flips onto his face, and picks it up from the turf to offer the audience a comical smile, my father will crack up laughing. Sometimes, this laughter will commence far in advance of said head-pick-up. I do not understand this.

I saw No Country for Old Men, and I saw American Gangster. If King of Kong had not come out this year, I would have to say that NCfOM is the movie of the year. As that crown has been claimed already, it will have to settle for second place. But it's still a fantastic film. The dialogue is great, as is the action and the suspense. Of course, the Golden Compass comes out in a week and a half, which may vie for MOVIE OF THE GALAXY status. I guess we'll have to see.

"I have a contract with the child."

Peter Cullen

Peter Cullen should be given a Lifetime Achievement Award -simply- for voicing Optimus Prime. Every time I hear his voice as Optimus, I get the chills. Peter Cullen, you are the God damn man.

Instant Netflix

The power of Netflix amazes me yet again. Now, instead of waiting for your movie to arrive in the mail, you can watch it instantly on-line. The fullscreen quality isn't great, nor is it terrible, but if you watch it in the slightly smaller window mode reminiscent of how Lost looks when you watch it online through ABC's website, it looks just dandy. And this is all included in your subscription price.

Now, I don't know if I would ever really want to watch a full-length movie on my laptop when I could watch it on my TV. But I've found that if I'm trying to catch up on say, The Office or any other TV show which would force me to receive 5 or 6 discs, instead of waiting for each disc to show up, I can pull up an episode here and there instantly. That's just fantastic.

Hot Rod

Shelley and I got into an advance screening of Hot Rod tonight. There's really only one question you guys want the answer to: will I enjoy this movie?

The answer is a multi-parter, coming in the form of many questions. Do you hate Andy Samberg? Do you enjoy watching people get hurt? Do you enjoy watching Andy Samberg get hurt? If you answered yes to any of these questions, go see this movie. Plus, Will Arnett is in it, which is totally cool. There's enough humor and quotable lines to keep me happy. Plus, the fact that it was free, and I was eating cookies and ice cream made it all the more enjoyable. Again, Andy Samberg gets his ass beat for two hours. Awesome.

Catch and Release

I once again find myself writing this as I watch another movie. This time, it's The Breach starring Ryan Phillipe. Perhaps I'll throw in some updates like I did from Hills Have Eyes 2. On to the show. . . .

Yes, Jennifer Garner looks like an alien. Yes, I am traditionally not a huge Kevin Smith fan.

Despite this, I found this film to be extraordinary. I expected a basic romantic comedy with tolerable acting, a story that didn't piss me off, all the standard trappings of a Hugh Grant movie without Hugh Grant. What I got was . . . basically that, but it had enough quirks and a lot of that human awkwardness that I so dearly enjoy. Jennifer Garner was at her 13 Going On 30 best, and the porn dude from Girl Next Door manages to pull off the role as well. The story was a strange one. They almost force you to hate the Girl Next Door guy right off the bat, so you spend the majority of the movie kind of confused as to whether or not you should support this romance. Throw in a dash of suicide, a conniving mother-in-law, an ADHD kid that you just want to frickin' slap, Juliette Lewis as a zen-obsessed massage therapist, and the sound of a nice guy's heart breaking. All around an enjoyable film.


**UPDATE**
Gary Cole of Harvey Birdman and Office Space fame seems to play a small role in this movie. TRIVIA!


I don't know if I can say this without spontaneously bursting into flame, but Kevin Smith really made the movie for me. I don't know if this means I enjoy Kevin Smith or what. I'm kind of at a strange time in my life right now, just trying to figure everything out. It's all so confusing. Perhaps I simply hate the thought of Jay and Silent Bob. Maybe that's it. I -do- know that I hate Jay with a fiery passion.


**UPDATE**
I'm not sure what this guy's name is (the gay soldier father from American Beauty), but he is a phenomenal actor. Ryan Phillipe is not, but hey, we can't win every time. We don't really lose in this case, but coasting by is far less fun than going 200 mph in some fire red Lambo. This seems like a movie I will not hate, but I will not love. I think I'll like it more than I'll dislike it, whatever the hell that means. If you liked The Good Sheppard, The Insider, or perhaps any of the Bourne movies, give it a look-see.

The Latest

So I'm sitting here watching The Hills Have Eyes 2, and when I'm not too busy asking myself why I've chosen to watch this movie, I'm attempting to be scared. Most of the time my face simply rolls up into this grotesque grimace. Whether caused by the terrible acting, ridiculous story, horrendously mutated humanoid creatures, or the most disturbing birth scene I've ever witnessed, I can't quite tell at this juncture. I can't say that any of them are helping much.

I've decided to take this opportunity to jot down a few reviews of some things I've seen/played/read recently. I'm going to write these things as if someone cares enough to read them and attempt to have some fun in the process. After all, what else is better to do while one of the world's most fantastically awful "horror" movies plays in the background?


SUPER STARDUST HD
One might expect a ten dollar title taken off the PlayStation Network (PSN) to provide an hour or two of enjoyment at best. That was surely what I had expected, despite the rave reviews on all manner of sites that specialize in those sorts of things. I was wrong. This game has, in all of its simplicity, justified my PS3 purchase. Fast-paced, easy-to-learn but extremely difficult-to-master, beautifully rendered. If you own a PS3 and don't own Super Stardust, do yourself a favor. In a nutshell, you are a tiny ship entrusted with the protection of a planet from all manner of asteroids and deadly alien ships. It's a modern update of the classic game Asteroids or Galaga, but at the same time, it's so much more.

FINAL FANTASY I on PSP
An absolutely wonderful update. The graphics have never looked better, and when coupled with the same mechanics of all of the past titles we've grown up with, we get all we could ask for. A simple but effective story. The next installment gets here in a week and a half, and I can't wait.


**UPDATE**
One of the mutants just lifted one of the soldiers up by his own arm, the arm he was currently using to cling to a rather sharp cliff face, chopped it off with a rusty machete, then waved goodbye to him with it as the man fell from a cliff to his untimely end. Need I say any goddamn more? I would say that if you were to take a copy of this film and melt it down, you could fashion a most spectacular bracelet. What I'm saying is that this movie is pure gold. Keep up with me, if you can. Oops, that same arm was just used as a comic projectile, aimed at a pair of the man's unsuspecting comrades. For the mutant's trouble, he had his eye poked out and was clubbed to death with a rock. Now a mutant resembling Charlie Brown is sniffing blindly through the dark. I'm pretty sure this is what nightmares are made of. Comical nightmares. Ooh, and there's a friendly mutant! He wants to help! He reminds me of the retarded brother from There's Something About Mary.


THE PAINTED VEIL
Starring Edward Norton and Naomi Watts, an incredibly beautiful movie. The acting is superb, the setting (1920s or 1930s China) is colorfully radiant, and the story is a different kind of love story. Totally unexpected. See it.

TRANSFORMERS
Absolutely unbelievable. When I first heard Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime, I had a religious experience. While I was hoping Hot Rod or perhaps Rodimus Prime would make an appearance, I wouldn't say that this necessarily ruined the experience for me. Really, I just wanted someone to say, "If you want to ride, Daniel, ride in style!" Can't wait for the sequel.

HARRY POTTER and the ORDER OF PHOENIX
I have to say that this is one of my least favorite movies so far. That's not to say that I haven't enjoyed it. Indeed, I've seen it three times since it hit theaters. But it seemed to be a bit lacking on the fun and action that previous movies had. Maybe I'm just bitter that there wasn't any quidditch this time around, but it seemed like we only got one wizard fight in this movie. While awesome, I seem to remember a broader segment of action in all previous movies. Meaning, it was evenly spaced throughout the entire movie. I heard somewhere that this was the shortest of the movies but the longest of the books. Maybe that's where the problem lies.


**UPDATE**
Watch this movie, but be warned. The head monster is killed by massaging his brain, which was exposed previously by a well-placed gunshot to the skull. I don't get it either.